The Witches Hammer

CAN I BUY AN APOSTROPHE
Rebecca is a genetically modified near-dead person made into a vampire and trained in the marshal arts in order to kill other kung-fu vampires. Rebecca is then captured by witches who want her to kill vampires to keep them from getting a book that can raise demons. Once Rebecca and the witch get the book, rather than destroy it they seek out the vampire who wants the book in order to kill him, all the time they are carrying said book. The plot is bad. The dialogue goes from bad to worse. The movie includes vampire circus midget and a fat lady who feed off of clowns. The four stars is because I enjoy bad campy movies and is not to be taken as if this is a quality film. No sex, no nudity, no bad language. The special effects are bad to comical, especially the demons which consist of a hooded robe with lights for eyes. When the mouth talks it looks as if it is from Johnny Quest. Better if stoned.

Entertaining in a stupid way
Imagine a cross between James Bond and Blade, but played for laughs. The gore is as over-the-top as Kill Bill, but the fight sequences really suck, and not in a good way. The special effects are pretty bad too. It's funny, but almost too stupid even to be funny. I gave it three stars because it was entertaining enough to be worth watching (once), I laughed several times. And I winced at the terrible fight choreography several times too. It's really a toss up.

A Movie Slightly to Somewhat Reminiscent of 1980's Campy Horror Flicks
The Witches Hammer is about a woman who is turned into a vampire against her will. She desperately wants to get back to her former life, but finds out that her thirst for blood makes her a danger to her young son, so she trains to be an assassin and watches her son from afar. Then most of the people that she works for are slaughtered and she and the only person left, who is truly a good person, set out to find the " Witches Hammer", a book that is like the Bible for all witches and contains some of the deadliest spells known to man.
This movie starts out serious, but eventually it segues into the type of film that is definitely reminiscent of 1980's campy horror flicks. That is because despite the tone of seriousness to the film there are parts that are so ridiculous that they could only be construed as laughable. Those elements make impossible for a person to take this film on a truly serious note. One of them is that one of the bad guys is so concerned with the female he...

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